Disrupting the ‘Jolly’ Holiday Narrative
We tend to collectively treat the holiday season as a time of cheer and celebration—a time in which most of our coworkers and peers are returning home, reconnecting with family, and de-stressing at the end of the year. From office festivities to social media banter, the holidays are often regarded as a universally positive experience. This ‘jolly’ lens filters into how we communicate about this time of year in the workplace and on our teams. But rarely do we provide space to consider a less comfortable counter-narrative—one that associates the holidays with isolation and additional stress.
A college friend just started a new job at a data analytics firm in New York. Originally from India, and with no family in the US or budget to return home, she confessed that the holidays were her least favorite time of year. The November-to-December period meant watching everyone around her leave town for wholesome family celebrations and bracing herself for the onslaught of well-meaning questions about her own less extravagant plans. Her feelings are echoed by many whose circumstances fall outside the sphere of a more privileged and traditional background.
The reality is that for some folks, this time of year can be a source of enhanced stress, loneliness, and even trauma. They may be far from home and lack the financial resources to travel, let alone indulge in the cheerful consumerism typical of the season. For others, the continuous social demand is draining. Individuals with pre-existing mental health struggles or introverted tendencies can find social events, office parties and the unavoidable loop of Christmas music and media buzz overwhelming. For many who have more difficult family relationships, particularly those with certain marginalized identities, prolonged family visits can be uncomfortable at best, and traumatic at worst.
This past November was transgender awareness month—a time to celebrate and understand the lived experiences of folks who identify within the transgender and gender nonconforming communities. This past month was also American Thanksgiving—a holiday commonly associated with cheerful family reunions and homecomings. Aside from the long standing anti-indigenous history of this particular holiday, Thanksgiving can also be an incredibly dissonant time for members of the LGBTQIA+ community and especially for those that identify as transgender. Folks may spend this time enduring constant judgement and strained conversation with relatives. Some might have to grapple with the reality of familial rejection and having no home to go back to. The holidays can be a triggering reminder of the trauma often experienced by folks within these communities. This same sentiment of course extends into the December edition of seasonal festivities.
For those that associate the winter period with additional stress, the dissonance of being in a workplace that assumes positivity and celebration can be further isolating. Widely attended office parties become dreaded stages for forced high-energy interactions and workplace conversations around the happy holidays become alienating. Well-intentioned questions about trips home or gift giving plans might be difficult to answer, forcing folks to withdraw even further.
Allowing space in conversation for non-normative holiday experiences is an important part of supporting workplace inclusivity—one that we can all do a better job of observing. A few ways to do this could be making office parties and Secret Santa’s opt-in, speaking about the break as a time for self-care vs. time for trips home, or simply acknowledging that these other experiences exist in formal communications. These are easy steps for fostering belonging around this time of year.
That is to say that yes, you can still enjoy your end-of-year festivities and indulge in the seasonal cheer while also taking a moment to consider how your coworkers and friends might be experiencing this time of year differently. The holidays are an excellent time to check privilege and integrate that awareness into shared workplace culture.